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Silly Little Man Uses Up All His Houma Today Articles In One Sitting

A Schriever man, who apparently lacks any willpower whatsoever, burned through all of his complementary Houma Today articles in less than ten minutes.

March 23, 2016 in local.

Capt. Higgins Retires From St. Landry Sheriff’s Office To Spend More Time With His Cameras

“It hurts to put on that badge every morning, walk out the door, and not know if you’re going to see them again.”

March 4, 2016 in entertainment, local.

Future Corridor Of I-49 Sign Fails Polygraph Test

In news that surprised no one, a future corridor of I-49 sign recently failed a polygraph examination.

February 24, 2016 in local.

Working Man Claims State Of Louisiana As A Dependent On Tax Return

Analysts at Louisiana’s Department Of Revenue are struggling to make sense of a tax return submitted by a local man

February 15, 2016 in local, politics.

Houma Residents React To Brown Water

“I love the new water. It’s way more organic than the old water, probably cage-free too.”

January 29, 2016 in local, science.

EPA Now Requires All Plastic Bottles To Be Marine-Shaped So Earth’s Remaining Fish Not So Lonely

The earth’s last remaining fish will have all the toys they can ask for! It’s the least we can do.

January 28, 2016 in news, politics, science.

Dularge Bridge Operational For Those Traveling Over 63 MPH Officials Say

A mechanical failure in the span locking system has left the Dularge Bridge out of commission, sort of.

January 25, 2016 in local.

Louisiana To Electrocute Derrick Todd Lee’s Corpse Anyway

“For his last meal, he wanted to eat four pounds of candy corn while listening to Nickleback, proof alone that he was a terrible person on pretty much every level.”

January 21, 2016 in local.

Berwick Meth Labs Brace For Opening Of Spillway

Berwick’s rich and vibrant meth culture faces extinction.

January 8, 2016 in local.

Explosion At Vacherie Daiquiri Plant Injures 26 People

Witnesses are saying that about two dozen people were, “all tore up” and “totally wasted.”

December 28, 2015 in local.

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