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Warren G Appointed To Regulate Wall Street

In an attempt to reign in corruption in the nation’s financial sector, Warren G was appointed Chief of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

March 30, 2015 in entertainment, news.

Louisiana Blamed For Water Hyacinths Clogging Nation’s Capitol

What started out as an act of kindness turned into utter disaster for Senator David Vitter.

March 23, 2015 in local, news, politics.

Brain Eating Amoebas Die Off In Mississippi After Running Out Of Food Supply.

For years, Naegleria Fowleri, better known as “brain eating amoebas” have plagued Mississippi’s water distribution system. Finally, it looks like these dangerous organisms have been eliminated.

March 21, 2015 in news, science.

Bud Light’s “Up For Whatever” Campaign Gives Man Case Of Beer And Kicks Him Into Volcano

Bud Light’s “Up For Whatever” campaign turned fatal again as another man was duped into playing this dangerous game of hedonistic roulette.

March 19, 2015 in news.

After Captain Suffers Massive Heart Attack, Jesus Co-Pilots Plane Into Mountain.

Capt. Salisbury was a devout Christian and always proclaimed, “Jesus is my co-pilot” which contractually obligated our Lord and Savior to fly the Boeing 767 in the event Capt. Salisbury was incapacitated.

March 18, 2015 in news.

Haunted History Tour Robbed By Spirit Of Slain Pirate

13 Tourists got more than what they bargained for when setting out on foot to learn about the French Quarter’s dark past. They didn’t make it four blocks before being robbed by a ghost pirate brandishing a flintlock pistol.

March 17, 2015 in local, news.

Redneck Transformer Aggressively Asks Facebook Why There Isn’t A Truck History Month

Snuffatron, the nation’s most outspoken redneck Transformer has been petitioning social media for the creation of a truck history month.

March 9, 2015 in news.

As Oil Prices Approach Record Lows, Nation’s Dinosaurs Experience Feelings Of Worthlessness

“Are we worth anything?” asked Nate Horner, a Triceratops from South Dakota. “It’s just heartbreaking that 55 gallons of decaying, organic slurry from my ancestors is worth about as much as a night out at Applebees.”

March 6, 2015 in news, science.

Watch What Happens When A Microchip From A Roomba Is Placed Into A Self Driving Car

First responders say that despite four flat tires, an overheated engine, and two deployed airbags, the self-driving car weakly rocked back and forth inside the flaming graveyard of bent metal and primordial screams.

March 3, 2015 in news.

Protesting Hipsters Use Beanbag Chairs To Ironically Deflect Beanbag Rounds

Hipsters, hellbent on tormenting the NYPD with irony, protested in the streets of Williamsburg while using beanbag chairs to shield themselves

March 3, 2015 in news.

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