Grand Isle Police Department Claims Crab Stole Money And Drugs From Evidence Locker

 

Grand Isle, LA – After half of the Grand Isle Police Department was arrested in an ongoing corruption probe this month, the Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office is tasked with getting to the bottom of serious allegations made against this small-town police force.

When pressed about evidence suspiciously disappearing, the Grand Isle Police Department is claiming that a blue crab found its way into the evidence room and made off with drugs and money.  The communication’s officer for G.I.P.D. issued this statement:

A crab could have easily shimmied his way under the door and made off with as much coke and cash as he could carry. It all makes sense. We got reports of a crab, a real party animal, dancing the night away with some locals. All three of our officers are out there right now, canvassing every bar and dance floor trying to catch the crab. That’s our top priority. While the Jefferson Parish Sheriff is wasting his time investigating us, we’re actually out there doing real police work, looking for the real criminal.

party crab 2

Pictured Above: The suspect, wanted boiled or alive. If seen, do not hesitate to call the Grand Isle Police Department.

At the time of print, The Push Pole learned that the Grand Isle Police Department received a tip that the crab in question was last seen in Destin, Florida. The entire department will likely be deployed to the Sunshine State to apprehend this hardened criminal who continues to thumb his nose at law enforcement.

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19 thoughts on “Grand Isle Police Department Claims Crab Stole Money And Drugs From Evidence Locker

  1. I think I recognize that crab! If I’m correct, he’s part of a huge gang of crabs that have been pulling off lots of crimes all along the gulf coast. Every member of the gang has a tattoo of two crawfish dancing to the right of his abdomen. I say it’s about time the GIPD catches those crabs!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I would like to meet the stupid Individual that wrote this article. you know it is one thing to hits somebody when they are down like a coward. but would you go to grand Isle and tell this story in person to someone that lives there. Let me Answer probably NOT!!!!!!

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    • Mickey, have you ever been to Parody? Wait, I misspelled that. Paradis? They talk like that over there. It’s a fine place for a Boutte Call too.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Holy hell. I want to buy this man a beer. Pun game is strong. However, by the looks of it…ole Mickey will be scratching her head will into 2016.

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      • Crusy, you are absolutely in the know! I’m thinking you might know some of the crab gang? You can tell us here; this site is totally confidential! 🙂

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    • Yes i would and i live here !! I do not take it as hitting when down i see it as making things a little more laid back we have had a lot of hard drama n it don’t hurt to laugh a little when you can !! Hello! !! Chill and enjoy it !! It is all in how you take it !! Kinda like when you do something burnt and laugh at your self lol !!! Hello

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I boiled that crab last weekend. Caught that fool with a turkey neck on a string. Also cast netted a few of his shrimp buddies. Crab hunt over. Yum!

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  4. Lol. Only in Grand Isle la. But I hope they go back to the late 90’s. Cause this has been going on down there for decade’s! Check back when Roscoe was head of the P.D there. What’s even funnier is the new ruler of G.I was a cop for one of the dirtiest Man ever to run G.I. But that don’t shock me cause he was a dirty cop then too#

    Like

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