Louisiana To Electrocute Derrick Todd Lee’s Corpse Anyway

electric chair

Baton Rouge, LA – Officials have decided to still go along with plans to “execute the crap” out of Derrick Todd Lee, despite the fact that he died today due to an undisclosed medical condition. The medical examiner has remarked that it’s very possible Lee’s own internal organs couldn’t even stand him, so they just decided to quit working.

Officials will still honor Lee’s last wishes. Earl Broussard, spokesman for the Department of Corrections, stated, “For his last meal, he wanted to eat four pounds of candy corn while listening to Nickleback, proof alone that he was a terrible person on pretty much every level.”

As of 2 PM, prison authorities had already started stuffing thousands of the hated candies into every orifice on Lee’s body. As a gloved finger disappeared the last candy corn into the soulless monster, the crescendo of “How You Remind Me,” echoed through the cold prison walls. He was finally ready for execution.

Friday at midnight, officials will flip a breaker sending 2000 volts into Derrick Todd Lee’s corpse until he becomes a gelatinous blob of smoldering flesh and corn syrup. His remains will then be dumped into the nearest toilet and respectfully flushed into obscurity.

 

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26 thoughts on “Louisiana To Electrocute Derrick Todd Lee’s Corpse Anyway

  1. What the hell! What if electrocuting his corpse actually brings him back to life? Egads! But, with all that candy stuffed inside, maybe he’ll come back a sweet guy? Sorry, was that a pun?

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  2. Frankenmoron!

    Bring him back and then kill him again. Repeat that cycle until Bel Edwards stops funding prisons to keep the entitlement programs running.

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  3. Cold hearted people, he’s already deceased why electrocute his corspe what’s the purpose of this and you wonder why people do not trust the criminal justice system.

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  4. Wat da fuck are yu serious dats so fucking low down and dirty
    I dnt care wat he did yu have no right at all to treat him dis way
    Y’all sum dirty motherfuckers
    Sad sad sad
    Wen y’all die y’all will rot in hell

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  5. If so,Louisiana should be charged with abuse of a courpse,and the highest courts in the lands should prosecute this state to the fullest,even though I know this is not true,anything makes news

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    • I bet if he killed a member of your family or beat the f out of you, raped you and left you for dead you wouldn’t say this. Stay your a$$ in ATL, no one in Louisiana is interested in anything you have to say on this matter or any other.

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  6. To bad thats not true because La doesnt even use the electric chair.
    But it would be nice if they could do it because technically he has to be executed to fullfill the terms of his sentance.

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  7. Regardless whether joke or not it was wrong for the crimes that have been committed but we have no heaven or hell to put anyone in only our Heavenly Father is that powerful. To write an article to this magnitude is awful.This is someone Father,whose thinking about his kids,This is someone brother,son,nephew.And we wonder why our society is so corrupt what happen to the compassion for the family who has lost someone they love regardless of who he was or what he has done I am glad God is not like man. What we all need to remember is that there is no little sin or big sin. A sin is a sin. The bible says thou shall not kill, that’s God words so remember that. To electrocute someone that dead already that’s horrible my God true or not whom ever does this has a lot of repenting to do. I only hope and pray that Derrick Lee repented and ask God for forgiveness before he took his last breath cause who wants to live in hell and die and go to hell. What if this was your dad ,brother or son how would you fell to read an article like this. Just cruel.

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    • Nothing kills a joke like having to explain it, so I’ll kill it since its lost on you. If you look at the comments section on pretty much any Louisiana article regarding a criminal, there is a rabid bloodlust and call for swift, cruel over-the-top judgement upon the offender. This article is making fun with Louisiana’s overblown almost sick love of punishment, and taking one last dig at a very terrible man who got off easier than his victims. We are sorry if a satirical article hurt Derrick Todd Lee’s loved ones, but we can’t go around being terrified of offending people. Nothing would ever get written. However, we will try not to fake electrocute the corpses of any more dead serial killers.

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      • L. Ron, Please do not kill this just because some people are too stupid to understand that it is a joke. God gave us a sense of humor so we can tolerate the horrors of life on Earth. Man is made in the “image and likeness” of God. That means that God has a sense of humor too, and He reads The Push Pole. If Derrick Todd Lee’s family, friends, neighbors, pets and loved ones have a problem with this article or the responses to it, they should remember that we are human and we have to survive. The way we do that, in some instances, is by laughing at what hurts us so much. Wake up readers of The Push Pole who don’t understand what this blog is all about! Educate yourselves about what satire is!

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  8. He is already dead wtf would y’all do that for I’m not giving him right for that but yall ain’t no better than him to do a person like stuff some candy in y’all ass and fry to piss me off and y’all the law

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  9. I have been watching this website for a long time because it is “South Louisiana’s Most Reputable News Source.” I am absolutely delighted with this article and I have already obtained my visa and I will be applying for citizenship in the United States where I will obtain residence in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana. I can’t wait! I love this place! Does anyone know if there are any other executions planned for people who are deceased or not yet deceased? I have an insatiable interest! Dr. Fraankinsteeen

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  10. I want to migrate from Europe to America, specifically Louisiana. I want to live in Terrebonne Parish. I want to open a practice and examine the brain of L Ron Mexico. Comoestad, L Ron?

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