Explosion At Vacherie Daiquiri Plant Injures 26 People

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Vacherie, LA – This sleepy riverside community was rocked Saturday night when an explosion at the local daiquiri plant injured over two dozen workers.

Initial reports are still trickling in as some witnesses are saying that about two dozen people were, “all tore up” and “totally wasted” after an uncontrolled explosion sent a wave of blue eruption cascading into workers’ bodies.

The Vacherie mayor, a 22 year old named Chud Becnel, was reported missing after the explosion and is feared dead. Witnesses say he was sitting around with members of the city council discussing plans to install a new pipeline that would transport daiquiri directly into the surrounding homes when the plant exploded. Chud became unresponsive, and rescue workers transported him to the bed of his truck for rehabilitation. By the time they had came back out to check on him, Chud’s body was gone.

Vacherie Councilwoman Braxlee Himel told The Push Pole, “I’m not sure where he is. He was totally smashed. He could have wandered off into the cane field. He could have hitched a ride to the lake. Who knows, maybe the mosquitoes took him. We may never know. Our first priority is getting the daiquiri plant back up and running. We can’t function as a community without it. I can’t picture this town without a daiquiri plant. We’d be no better than Chackbay.”

Councilman Rayden Hymel, who is also Chud’s best friend, weighed in on the dangers of industrial work, “Every night brave men and women leave their families so that they can come down to the daiquiri plant and earn a living. Sometimes you come home pretty messed up. Sometimes you don’t come home at all. It’s part of the job. You just have to accept it.”

Workers are still recuperating after the disaster. Dozens are experiencing severe headaches, upset stomachs, blurred vision, and extreme sensitivity to light and noise. Authorities are recommending bed rest and fast foods to combat the effects of the explosion.

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3 thoughts on “Explosion At Vacherie Daiquiri Plant Injures 26 People

  1. Me, I used ta werk at dat Vacherie daiquiri plant wit my good frien Bilbeaux Buggs. I had dem same simptems dat Mr. L. Ron deskribes in dis artikle. Den 1 day, eye coodn’t spell a dam ting, nuttin’! Den, the nex day, I tink, I culdn’t remember how to git back to the daiquiri plant. Still cain’t remember! I herd Bilbeaux drilled hisself in da head and give hisself what dey call da lobotomy! Poor Bilbeaux! Gud news is I can spel agin!

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  2. The local community of pleasure bends officials are in section at this time with local cane farmers tryn to come to a resolution for a rite if way directly from the plant to Fred’s so as local residents do not go into convulsions from the lack of white Russian s hopefully this will happen before New Years Eve .
    Stay tuned for further details

    Liked by 1 person

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