What’s big, dark green, and filled with trash? No, not lake Palourde on the 4th of July. I’m talking about those exciting new garbage cans that many Lafourche residents received a few months ago. We interviewed a few locals to see how they felt about the new cans.
“So dang dependable and well-insulated. When the wife is mad at me, I go outside, turn it sideways, and sleep in it!”
“Love how heavy and sturdy they are. I like to push mine a little bit farther into the road and just laugh as it knocks the side mirrors off of passing vehicles”
“It just showed up one day out of nowhere like a stray cat. I didn’t ask for this responsibility. I’m just like, ‘Great, another garbage can to feed.’”
“Terrebonne Parish has the same cans. I hated those cans. That was the main reason I moved out of there. Now where am I supposed to go?”
“It’s alot higher than my old garbage can. You wouldn’t think the raccoons would be able to get inside of it, but they can. Trust me.”
“I’ve seen this before. They give you these flashy trash cans. Then, they take them away after you’ve grown to love them. Next year they come by selling them for two hundred bucks a pop. Classic scam. I threw mine in the bayou on day one. I’m not falling for that again.”
“Damn thing is bigger than my dorm room… and it smells better too.”
“Yeah, it has instructions on it. It’s kind of insulting. I’ve been taking out the trash for decades. I don’t need some big trash can barking orders at me. That’s my wife’s job.”
“My old trash can got super jealous, so I felt I had to make double the garbage to keep both of them satisfied. This has been more stressful than you can imagine.”
“Did somebody walk into the garbage can store and just buy a round for everyone? What’s going on? Why can’t they give out something cool, like Playstations?”
“The damn thing can comfortably hold 95 gallons of blood. I’m very happy with it, but I know some people who aren’t…I mean ‘weren’t.’”
THE PUSH POLE 
My hubby loves the new trash cans.He says they are perfect for mixing one bag of miracle grow. He want’s me to call and thank Charlotte,but i’m having none of that.
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This is great! I can hide in the big, new garbage can, then when it gets dumped into the truck, I can play dead. When the workers notice me and think I’m dead, I can jump up and scare them! This is so close to Halloween it is just perfect!
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Did I mention I’ve had at least three prescribed lobotomies and one self-inflicted (I have a very versatile drill) lobotomy?
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I have no problem with the new garbage cans. It’s the person or persons that do the picking up. I’ve had to weeks in a row that my trash was not picked up due to the place of the can. My mailbox is there and the can has no place. And when it does get picked up the can is sometimes put back blocking the mailbox, the actual street so not one can turn in or they leave it on the highway.
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it’s too hard to handle I have to call on someone else to move it
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Okay, so I hid in the big, new garbage container and when the workers dumped me into the bargabe truck and I was going to scare them because it is close to Hallowween, they didn’t notice me and I got crushed with the garbage and I got injured and I am in the hospital and there are lots of drugs going in and out of me, or something like that so I will make this a short post because I can’t remember what I was going to say. Where is my nurse?
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Three days now I have been in Terrebonne General, room 346, and no one has come to see me. Not one single, solitary person! Doesn’t anyone read this blog anymore? Don’t be afraid of a man who has had multiple lobotomies; it is not politically correct. If only Barack read this blog, he would come visit me because that is how he is, Sociable, Tolerant, Unbiased, Personable, Interested, Distinguished and Observant! Come see me Houmanites! I do not bite!!!
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