During Wednesday’s practice, The New Orleans Saints prepared for their next home game by loudly pumping boos, groans, and laughter through giant speakers set up on the sideline.
The 0-3 Saints are trying to ready themselves for the inevitable embarrassment they will endure this Sunday in the Superdome. Coach Sean Peyton hopes to condition his team mentally for the upcoming loss by simulating the crowd’s reaction to their inept play.
Sean Peyton told The Push Pole, “Look, 53 men are going to take that field in a few days, and they’re going to hugely disappoint 70,000 of their most loyal supporters, so they have to be ready to absorb as much humiliation as humanly possible.”
Coach Peyton also began implementing unorthodox drills at practice. He arrogantly paced the sidelines in his trusty visor, barking demoralizing commands while aggressively chewing a stick of Juicy Fruit, “Ok, let’s see who can find their ass with both hands. Can anybody? That’s right, I want to see everyone reach back and grab two handfuls of ass. Are you kidding me Jenkins? Your ass is on your back side; not your front! Hey, that’s probably the only sack you’ll get all year. Enjoy it. Somebody help Byrd. We wouldn’t want him to injure himself again. Strief, make sure your aged, lumbering buttocks doesn’t escape your childlike grasp and somehow slam Drew into the dirt.
Unfortunately, The Push Pole was unable to publish any more of Coach Peyton’s vulgar words to his players.