Burger Fling Announces New Houma Location

That’s right Houma. It has finally come to this. We gave you chicken wings wrapped in spandex. You wanted more. Dainty referees shoved unlimited flavors of yardbird down your sopping gullets. No one batted an eye. Spray-tanned lumberjacks with ice-cold beer couldn’t even saturate your throbbing market. All-American cheerleaders slathered in gravey just came to town, and you’re already wondering about what’s coming next.

Well I’m here to tell you what’s coming next. Burger Fling is what’s next!

Dining Room at TAP Sports Bar

Forget refs. Forget cheerleaders. This is all about the action on the field. Come on down and have a fling. We’ve got lingerie league football hotties with flat screen TV’s strapped to their heads! Don’t worry, it’s totally cool. There are no labor laws specifically prohibiting this (litigation pending). And the best part is, these babes will be throwing football-sized hamburgers into your filthy holes!

Dining Room at TAP Sports Bar

So come on down! How many out-of-your-league women flinging food in your face does it take to make you feel special? Whatever the answer is, we’ll double it! How many pounds of burger can your body metabolize in one day? Whatever the answer is, we’ll triple it! Oh, you want beer? We’ve got beer! We built an artificial aquifer under the city, flooded it with your favorite brews, and installed a complex distribution network of pumps and pipes that allows you to drink alcohol directly from the earth, just like nature intended.

Surprisingly, we found a spot on Martin Luther King Boulevard to make this happen. You didn’t think we’d take this sort of thing to St. Charles Street, did you?

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One thought on “Burger Fling Announces New Houma Location

  1. My good friend Señor L. Ron Mexico, I am sorry to say that you can forget about the beer in the “artificial aquifer” under the city. You see, I have “mended fences” with my good friend Señor Joaquin Guzman, recently “released” from that horrific Mexican prison, and we have tunneled into your beer aquifer. As I write this, thousands of kegs of your delicious beer is now being shipped across the border to Mexico. This is our way of taking back so much weight that has been flowing north from our wonderful country to yours. Let’s just say, it is our way of “evening things out!” Muchas gracias por la cerveza! La Mole (Hic*!)

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