Unfortunately for Galliano angler Willie Bergeron, the mammoth fish he hauled in yesterday morning was actually a delicate 11-inch spec trapped inside the body of a 31-inch bull red.
Stephanie Bergeron, his very intelligent and sunburned daughter, broke the news to him after netting the leviathan. It was their tenth redfish of the day, setting them at their limit. After pretending to hold a telepathic conversation with the gasping, flopping beast, she broke the news to her father, informing him that they have to release the fish or the game wardens would throw him into a FEMA camp for a hate crime.
Mr Bergeron, an angry man unable to make sense of a quickly changing world, easily believed his daughter and reluctantly released the red back into the marsh to live as a spec. As it swam away, Mr. Bergeron cursed dozens of Washington D.C. politicians by name.
When The Push Pole contacted Stephanie to inquire about why she would exploit the anger of her gullible father, she replied:
That bull gave him six reds to my four. Throwing that big one back gave me a chance to get my five and at least match him, which I ended up doing because he was too busy texting AM talk radio programs about what just happened. It worked out perfectly for me…and that red, who I’m sure is in open water with his brothers, tearing up minnows under the birds right now.