Man Forced To Throw Back Bull Red That Self-Identifies As 11-Inch Speckled Trout.

Tailing-Redfish-Release

Unfortunately for Galliano angler Willie Bergeron, the mammoth fish he hauled in yesterday morning was actually a delicate 11-inch spec trapped inside the body of a 31-inch bull red.

Stephanie Bergeron, his very intelligent and sunburned daughter, broke the news to him after netting the leviathan. It was their tenth redfish of the day, setting them at their limit. After pretending to hold a telepathic conversation with the gasping, flopping beast, she broke the news to her father, informing him that they have to release the fish or the game wardens would throw him into a FEMA camp for a hate crime.

Mr Bergeron, an angry man unable to make sense of a quickly changing world, easily believed his daughter and reluctantly released the red back into the marsh to live as a spec. As it swam away, Mr. Bergeron cursed dozens of Washington D.C. politicians by name.

When The Push Pole contacted Stephanie to inquire about why she would exploit the anger of her gullible father, she replied:

That bull gave him six reds to my four. Throwing that big one back gave me a chance to get my five and at least match him, which I ended up doing because he was too busy texting AM talk radio programs about what just happened. It worked out perfectly for me…and that red, who I’m sure is in open water with his brothers, tearing up minnows under the birds right now.

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8 thoughts on “Man Forced To Throw Back Bull Red That Self-Identifies As 11-Inch Speckled Trout.

  1. Me, five days ago, I saw Willie Bergeron and dat fool Bilbeaux Buggs snortin’ da water at da’ end of Island Road in Point Aux Chenes. Snortin’ dat ditch water like two pigs at da’ trough! It’s no wonder Willie’s baby Steph talked him to trow dat bull red back. Dat’s a shame!

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  2. I am not an idiot. I have had a few lobotomies so that makes thinking and logical decision making a challenge. Also, the brain eating amoeba ate part of my brain before I could inject the chlorine into it. I am sorry to admit that I told Willie Bergeron it would be a good idea to snort the Island Road ditch water.

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  3. Bilbeaux, you say youself you not as smart as da’ kayak. Dat my frien’ is close to dumb as you can get! Me, dats what I say. But I won’t call you da’ idiot no more. Touche’ my frien’!

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  4. L Don, that’s not all Willie did.I tuned in to HTV that night and quess who called in.I recongnized his voice.He was still all fumed up about those “stupid” wlf regulaton.He told Martin he was going to Baton Rouge and burn his fishing liscence.Martin said he would send a crew to get the footage.

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  5. There’s an easy way to handle those who self-identify as a certain gender. Call them the Gender that you know they are. If they tell you Gender and Sex is different and that Gender is non-binary tell them that you’re aware of this which is why you’re referring to them by their sex not their Gender.

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