According to multiple sources at Thibodaux’s Peltier Park, “a kid totally died” while holding his breath in an attempt to avoid sniffing the mountain of bagasse located just off of Highway 182.
A dozen caffeinated nine-year-olds told The Push Pole about a child who ran out of air and died in the backseat of his parent’s SUV as they traveled to New Orleans.
When pressed for details, the animated group of kids gave conflicting reports. Some said his name was Jayden. Others said it was Conner. Some said his death happened last month; others were sure it happened years ago, before Frozen even came out.
Many confirmed that they had narrowly escaped death themselves when holding their breaths on that terrifying stretch of highway. Cody, who menacingly glared at his chicken nuggets, intensely explained, “I hate that road. I almost ran out of air and exploded into a million pieces, but I didn’t because I have super lungs.”
Bagasse is the fibrous matter left over from the sugar extraction process. It is used to produce building materials, bio-fuels, and lower property values.
The brown mountain of sugarcane waste often produces an overpowering funk that wafts into the unsuspecting noses of passing motorists. This sudden unpleasant aroma can disturb drivers, causing a safety hazard. Kool-Aid stained experts recommend driving really fast while holding your breath until you’re just about to explode…or you could just travel down Highway 1 or 308 to catch Highway 90 instead.