According to multiple sources at Thibodaux’s Peltier Park, “a kid totally died” while holding his breath in an attempt to avoid sniffing the mountain of bagasse located just off of Highway 182.
A dozen caffeinated nine-year-olds told The Push Pole about a child who ran out of air and died in the backseat of his parent’s SUV as they traveled to New Orleans.
When pressed for details, the animated group of kids gave conflicting reports. Some said his name was Jayden. Others said it was Conner. Some said his death happened last month; others were sure it happened years ago, before Frozen even came out.
Many confirmed that they had narrowly escaped death themselves when holding their breaths on that terrifying stretch of highway. Cody, who menacingly glared at his chicken nuggets, intensely explained, “I hate that road. I almost ran out of air and exploded into a million pieces, but I didn’t because I have super lungs.”
Bagasse is the fibrous matter left over from the sugar extraction process. It is used to produce building materials, bio-fuels, and lower property values.
THE PUSH POLE 
Can you please hire me? PLEASE!!!!!!
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If we made any money whatsoever, we’d love to. This is all free, as a public service to the community.
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No one makes any money writing nowdays.
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The folks alive today could not have won WWII—not a very tough bunch.
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The stupid, it hurts.
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Awesomeness
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I was driving down that road one day and as I was passing the sugar can processing plant I held my breath. I had to slow down for a car ahead of me and I passed out and drove off the road into that ditch. Another time I was driving on Highway 90, following a bagasse truck and there was a Louisiana State Police unit behind me. I just couldn’t take the vomit-like smell anymore and floored my car so I could speed around the bagasse truck to get into good air. The state trooper followed and pulled me over and gave me a ticket for reckless operation.
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I am still dead.
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This is…too much. Caffeinated nine year olds always tell the truth, dotcha know? 🙂
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