Belle Chasse Hires Mexican Drug Cartel To Build New Tunnel

belle chasse tunnel 1

Plaquemine’s Parish officials have hired the Sinaloa cartel to replace the leaky, unsafe Belle Chasse tunnel. Residents of this area have nicknamed the local landmark, “the Belle Chasse car-wash” due to the copious amounts of water that continually leak onto traffic.

The Sinaloa cartel recently constructed a mile long tunnel into a maximum security prison that their boss, Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman, used to escape. Civil engineers for the parish learned that the escape tunnel had better ventilation, less leaks, and a faster commute time than the soggy death trap that Plaquemine’s Parish residents risk their lives in every day.

When Parish President Amos Cormier was asked why he didn’t go the traditional route in replacing the Belle Chasse tunnel, he replied:

The tunnel is located on a state highway, so you can imagine the bureaucratic red tape involved. The amount of people whose palms need greasing to make this happen is unreal. By the time everyone takes their cut, there’s not much money left for actual construction, so we’d be left with a shoddy, crumbling tunnel…kind of like the one we have now. The corruption and danger involved in local politics is terrifying; we figured we’d be better off dealing with a Mexican drug cartel. They’ve shown they can build a safer, stronger tunnel in half the time for a fraction of the price.

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4 thoughts on “Belle Chasse Hires Mexican Drug Cartel To Build New Tunnel

  1. You may recall that I offered to help with an “invasion” tunnel from Terrebonne to Lafourche but no one called for my help. Now that I am out of the El Paso County Jail, I will submit a job prospectus and bid for the rebuild of the “BELLE CHASSE TUNN L.” Ask Joaquin Guzman about the quality of my work! “La Mole”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Señor L. Ron Mexico, I can see from your name that you are a compatriot. Although the Sinaloa cartel has already been hired to do this work, maybe you could use your considerable influence to help grease the job prospectus and bid of an “independent contractor” through the Plaquemine Parish bureaucracy. Obviously, the use of local Mexican labor would drastically alleviate any concerns regarding “safety” issues that the local citizenry might have. Sinaloa will bring their own people, you know. “La Mole”

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