Thibodaux, La – Four IPBBs (Inter-Parish Ballistic Bottle-rockets) were set up in Peltier Park and aimed towards Terrebonne airspace on Friday afternoon.
Pictured Above: An IPBB in Peltier Park. (An inter-parish ballistic bottle-rocket is a guided ballistic rocket with a maximum range of 40 miles designed to deliver freedom to firework-banned parishes)
This comes in the wake of Terrebonne’s controversial firework ban. Lafourche Parish officials, deeply concerned about the freedom of its neighbors to the south, plan on detonating four industrial strength bottle rockets over Terrebonne on the 4th of July. This expression is aimed at liberating a repressed people living under an authoritarian regime.
Above: Gray, East and West Houma, and the Bourg/Chauvin communities are slated to be freedomized by hundreds of pounds of glitter and black powder.
Lafourche Parish President Charlotte Randolph stated:
This is America and we have freedom of expression, and there is no better way of expressing your freedom than by blowing stuff up! We feel that our neighboring parish to the south is infringing on the 1st amendment rights of its citizens by banning fireworks, and we are going to do something about that. We will rain down a shower of liberty and justice for all above those freedom-starved people as they watch in slack-jawed, neck-tilted amazement.
Michel Claudet, Terrebonne Parish President, has stated that any act of aggression against his sovereign municipality will not be tolerated. Intelligence reports coming in state that if Terrebonne is hit with a fireworks barrage, Claudet will retaliate with a ground offensive by releasing thousands of invasive nutria rats into the Lafourche marshes.