Starting in 2016, Louisiana science textbooks will suggest that David Blaine has been using a powerful magic trick to make the wetlands vanish into thin air.
Most science literature addresses dredging, intensified storms, levees, and rising sea levels in relation to coastal erosion, but Louisiana science textbooks will introduce supernatural phenomenon to that list.
Politicians claim that students aren’t learning critical thinking by having all the obvious, over-researched answers spoon fed to them. To foster curiosity and wonder into impressionable children, students will be introduced to the theory of intelligent demolition.
Intelligent demolition implies that a malevolent magician is causing Louisiana’s delicate coast to recede by simply using his mind. Critics argue there is no evidence to support this claim; however, proponents of intelligent demolition insist that there is no evidence that contradicts it either. Not one scientific journal contains an article saying the disappearing marsh isn’t just another one of David Blaine’s magic tricks.