The community of Schriever received a devastating blow yesterday when it was left off Smithsonian’s list of small towns to visit. The sleepy little town nestled between the metropolitan powerhouses of Thibodaux and Houma was inconsolable after being overlooked yet again.
Schriever’s mayor, Terrence Guidroz, issued this statement:
We have been deemed unworthy of visitation by the nation’s highest authority on small towns, and that hurts. It really does. I’m not sure what else we can do. When it comes to architecture, we’ve got Thibodaux beat. They don’t have a 40 foot overpass! Hell, it took them almost two years to add another lane to the Tiger Drive bridge. And if you want culture, check out the authentic hobo nests built from branches and garbage that line our rail yard. Also, our post office wait times are less than a typical Houma traffic light. And as far as I know, the truck stop here is the last in the country to host arm-wrestling tournaments. Oh, our airport made the cover of Crop Duster Monthly in July of 1993. People forget that.
Thibodaux apparently did make the Smithsonian list. The Push Pole was unable to verify this information because the article was presented in slideshow format, and a slideshow is the most detestable way to milk clicks and ad revenue from curious readers.