Lockport, LA – Wallace Duplantis was summarily dismissed from Bollinger after being caught listening to Magic 101.9 while on the job.
Mr. Duplantis claimed that he couldn’t run a smooth bead without the soft melodies of Brian Adams and Sting serenading him throughout his day. Unfortunately, company policy clearly states that no soft rock is allowed on the premises.
Ben Bordelon, Bollinger CEO, issued this statement:
“At Bollinger, we offer a diverse variety of acceptable music. Unfortunately, soft rock is not one of them. Employees are permitted to listen to classic rock or hard rock. We can even tolerate rap-rock variations like Linkin Park or Limp Biscuit, but anything softer than that is unapproved.”
Classically trained welders believe that the hardness of the music tends to translate into hardness in the weld; therefore, anyone listening to soft rock is probably going to produce a brittle, soft weld.
Mr Duplantis was interviewed by The Push Pole after being fired. He tearfully exclaimed, “Every breath I take and every move I make is for welding. I guess this is the end of the road, and I can’t let go. I’m not going to give up. I’m going to try and try and try again. That’s what Pink would do.”