In a heartwarming display of compassion, West Thibodaux Middle School let Kid Rock score a twenty yard touchdown against the E.D. White Cardinals last week. Players mellow-dramatically collapsed at his knees while they attempted to tackle him, and they stood up and cheered loudly as he crossed the goal line.

“My feet were like lightening out there! And my hits were like thunder! I wasn’t going to be denied from scoring. I think some of the kids must have even collapsed from fear when they saw the determined look in my eyes.”

The score keeper even put an extra six points on the board but then removed it as soon as he left the field. There wasn’t a dry eye in the bleachers. The local townspeople were all aware of Kid Rock’s love of football, and how badly he always wanted to score a touchdown. No one expected this would happen when he trotted onto the field Thursday night in a clueless haze of enthusiasm. Everyone was proud that they could help the aging pop star fulfill an important, lifelong dream.

The creative expressions of Kid Rock often contain tales of lovable simpletons reveling in patriotic misadventures, and this was no different. This was just another case of life imitating art as he triumphantly spiked the ball and demanded to be rewarded with a case of beer