In an attempt to reign in corruption in the nation’s financial sector, Warren G was appointed Chief of the Securities and Exchange Commission. Traditional methods have failed to thwart illegal practices on Wall Street for almost a century, so it was decided that unconventional methods were needed.
President Obama delivered the news to Warren with a startling phone call. Sources say Warren’s immediate reaction was to put his mind into “freak mode” and head to a motel.
Once the shock wore off, Warren eventually hooked a left on 21 and Lewis, and pointed his Cadillac towards the NYSE and said, “Let’s do this.”
The cross-country journey was rife with busters and gat explosions, but it wasn’t until Warren had arrived in his Manhattan office did he realize just how plentiful the busters were, and how many gat explosions would be needed. After being briefed on the deeply entrenched culture of bribery, corruption, and theft, Warren remarked, “We are getting jacked. I’m breaking myself. I can’t believe they took this nation’s wealth!” He then angrily asked JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon,“What’s next?!”
Dimon attempted to apologize, but he was laid down like a buster by a gat explosion.
Shortly thereafter, Warren installed a bronzed statue of the late Nate Dogg on Wall Street. This sends a strong message that Warren has deemed it time to regulate.
It is clear that Warren G will not be getting stepped to by any bankers. In the last month, financial corruption has fallen by over 98 percent. Analysts are saying that the brilliant move to appoint Mr. G makes sense. It’s a known fact that most bankers and Wall Street types are busters, and what does Warren G regulate? That’s right; he regulates busters.