Students At Nicholls State Can Now Major In Student Loan Collections

In a surprising announcement, students at NSU will be able to major in Student Loan Collections. Nicholls is offering this new program to keep abreast with a the demanding economic appetite of academia. With student loan debt at over 1.2 trillion dollars, the nation is in need of qualified, educated debt collectors who can recoup these funds from children who were gullible enough to believe that a college degree would get them a job that paid a living wage.

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Pictured Above: Students taking a Debt Collections 101 course on top of the rec center

I think we’ve actually reached economic sustainability here,” said University President Bruce Sullivan. “Students can take out a loan to study at NSU, major in Student Loan Collections, and then graduate and get a job collecting their own loans. If you are actually getting paid to collect money from yourself, it’s kind of like your education was free.”

There has been some push back from the within the university, as some faculty want to change the current mascot from a Nazi into a picture of a snake eating its own tail.  

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