Snuffatron, the nation’s most outspoken redneck Transformer, has been petitioning social media for the creation of a truck history month, not because he is concerned with people learning about the fascinating history of trucks but because he feels detached from a society he can’t connect with.
“He just wants to feel like part of America by having his own month,” said Optimus Prime. “Look, he was never our smartest Autobot. When other groups celebrate their heritages, he just feels ostracized, so he lashes out on social media. Please don’t judge us by his actions. Most of us Autobots are capable of understand the delicate cultural nuances embedded in America’s rich tapestry.”
When Snuffatron later found out that “Secretary’s Day” was changed to “Administrative Professionals Day,” he became enraged. “Why can’t I have my own special day too!? I wasn’t born with no silver spark plug in my hole!” wrote the 23 foot titanium alloyed space truck who was 8,000 years old. “I had to work for everything I got! And now we can’t even say ‘Secretary!’ We have to say ‘Administrative Assistant’ instead! This isn’t the America my daddy taught me about on Cybertron 200 years ago! ”