What started out as an innocent prank turned into a 32 car pileup on Interstate 59 this morning. Eric Metcalf removed the microchip from his Roomba last night, and under the cover of darkness, installed it into his best friend’s self-driving Google car. As Dave Meggett was commuting to work this morning, his car started behaving erratically. Before Meggett could understand what was happening, his vacuum-brained automobile suddenly turned and plowed straight into a Camry. Then, it backed up until it hit a swerving Kia; then went forward until and smashed into an Elantra. This went on for over four minutes until the Roomba-controlled automobile was surrounded by a heap of smoldering wreckage and absolute carnage.
First responders say that despite four flat tires, an overheated engine, and two deployed airbags, the self-driving car weakly rocked back and forth inside the flaming graveyard of bent metal and primordial screams, trying to locate hairballs, crumbs, and other microscopic debris.