Hipsters, hellbent on tormenting the NYPD with irony, protested in the streets of Williamsburg while using beanbag chairs to shield themselves. As officers fired beanbag rounds into soft, fluffy mounds of polystyrene beads, maximum irony was unlocked, creating a rift in the space-time continuum. The entire Milky Way galaxy was turned into a Milky Way candy bar. You are not reading this right now. A fractured, rudderless sense of your former self, which is embedded in a gelatinous sea of caramel and sugar, is projecting a false reality from a rich, creamy dreamscape. Everything you know is a lie.